"*** off somewhere else then."
"Aaaaah, they're only kids, aren't they sweeeeeeeeeet!"
"How dare you insinuate that my offspring aren't the pride of humanity, I ought to smash your face in."
"I pity you, you poor, childless, loveless individual."
"Don't you understand? [beats breast and fights back tear] I'VE GOT KIDS!!!"
"Don't you think it's just as embarrassing for me?"
"Who are you to question me?"
"Oh, sorry. I'll make sure they behave in a less anti-social manner from now on."

One of these has never happened.