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Children in cafes
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jenros


Posts: 39
Joined: Mar 2014
Post: #41
05-01-2015 07:56 PM

Well said Star. I think we all need to show a bit more consideration to other people. We don't know anything about individual circumstances or possible health problems.

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Londondrz


Posts: 1,538
Joined: Apr 2006
Post: #42
06-01-2015 11:27 AM

I took my kids to the Horniman Café for lunch yesterday.

Wow is all I can say!

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milliemop


Posts: 184
Joined: Oct 2011
Post: #43
06-01-2015 02:20 PM

Now is that a good wow or a bad wow?????Smile

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Londondrz


Posts: 1,538
Joined: Apr 2006
Post: #44
06-01-2015 05:24 PM

Lets put it this way, I had two 9 year olds and a 6 year old. My six year old turned to me at one point and said "Don't they have parents"? referring to three little boys running around screaming "poo, poo, poo, poo, poo" and chasing pigeons.

Boys will be boys I guess.

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michael


Posts: 3,223
Joined: Mar 2005
Post: #45
06-01-2015 05:44 PM

You think my parents would stop me chasing pigeons and shouting "poo, poo, poo, poo, poo"?
Surely this is one of life's little pleasures for many middle-aged men.

I blame pop music for encouraging such behaviour towards pigeons: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhuMLpdnOjY

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greensleeves


Posts: 10
Joined: May 2014
Post: #46
06-01-2015 05:56 PM

I gave up on the Horniman Cafe a long while ago - it has always been a creche.

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roz


Posts: 1,796
Joined: Mar 2005
Post: #47
07-01-2015 09:00 PM

The Horniman is a family orientated museum so its not surprising the cafe is the same however I went there for 23 years quite happily as a non parent before kids came along- the previous cafe too of course and never found it a problem.

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roz


Posts: 1,796
Joined: Mar 2005
Post: #48
07-01-2015 09:07 PM

I recently took two of my children to Canvas and Cream for tea. They behaved impeccably for half an hour. More impeccably than the two women at the next table who were packing up to leave anyway as we arrived but spared a few minutes to do some tut tutting about impeccably behaved children daring to go to cafes. Perhaps that was someone on here. I put up with rude adults all the time like those two - and the woman who pushed my child out of the way whilst running for a bus.

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ForestHillier


Posts: 490
Joined: Jul 2010
Post: #49
08-01-2015 08:51 AM

Maybe not relevant - however thought I would share this with you all, many years ago when I was down the South Coast [ near Hastings ], my wife took our 2 boys into a pub for some food/drink, pub was near Bexhill, after we had eaten our meal, the owner and her hubby, come up to us and gave the boys an ice cream each FOC as they both said they had never ever seen such well behaved children in their pub.

The boys were 3 & 10 at the time.

So maybe it is the upbringing, some people just cant be bothered to control the children when they get out of hand [ now i know we have all been children and its only a part of their growing up - yet some are quite an handful].

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Londondrz


Posts: 1,538
Joined: Apr 2006
Post: #50
08-01-2015 10:54 AM

As children we were fortunate to eat out once a week with family friends. We sat and chatted amongst our peer group, ate our food and sat still. We managed to have a good time without the need to run around the restaurant shouting. Had we done so we would have been reprimanded by our parents, our parents friends or the restaurant owners.

I try and instil this in my children as well. We are in a restaurant, be respectful to your parents who are taking you there and to those others who are using the restaurant and to the staff and owners who are providing you a service. It works if you try.

And to those who say "kids will be kids". Sure, let them be kids at home where they can disturb you, outside of your home there is no reason why they cannot be taught respect for you and others.

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milliemop


Posts: 184
Joined: Oct 2011
Post: #51
08-01-2015 02:44 PM

Spot on Londondrz Thumbsup

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Yasmine


Posts: 17
Joined: Jun 2010
Post: #52
08-01-2015 02:49 PM

Childrens in airports, anybody ? A few weeks ago I was coming back to London on a very busy evening at Gatwick, unfortunately. The display of rude upbringing and absolute disrespect to others that some of the children put up was truly astonishing. Screaming, running around amongst people patiently queueing at passport control, kicking their suitcases, with parents more concerned about complaining to every single already overstretched member of staff than looking after ( taming) their little ones. Some people were truly annoyed, I stood there bemused by the spactacle and noticed that unfortunately the great majority of those children belonged to white middle class parents, who wrongly assume that everybody else should put up with their children poor manners just because they look like blond little angels. It was hilarious to observe a few older indian ladies in the queue with such a look of disapproval on their faces, as if the PARENTS behaviour was appaling and to blame for. i somehow agree.

Again, I was having lunch with my husband in a nice but busy coffee shop in Canada Water. Two relatively young and affluent white mothers came in a for a coffee and a long chat at lunch time parking massive buggies in the middle of the room, two toddlers left to run wild with the waitress really struggling to avoid them whilst carrying hot drinks and food. At one point one of the boys actually run out of the place to a very busy road. The mother shouted and shouted and did not even attempt to reach the door. Another lady, hotrrified by the thought the boy could end up run over by a passing car, quickly ran out to stop him.

I am white, definitely middle class by today's socio-Demographic standards and baffled and a little embarassed by this cultural shift.

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milliemop


Posts: 184
Joined: Oct 2011
Post: #53
08-01-2015 03:03 PM

If they're not busy chatting, they are hypnotised by that damned phone in their hands Cursing

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BT


Posts: 163
Joined: Jul 2003
Post: #54
08-01-2015 06:42 PM

Some years ago in Sainburys there were a gaggle of Mums chatting and blocking the Aisles and the kids were running wild. It was shortly before Xmas and there were the stacks of Quality Street tins etc. piled around. Two of the young boys were laying into a stack with their feet and the Mums were ignoring them. I suggested to them that they might like to buy all the dented tins and they replied that what their kids were doing was no concern of mine.

On another occasion there was a Mum with a young child who was playing merry hell because she didn't want to do what Mum was saying. The little monster then proceeded to start picking stuff from the Vegetable display and throwing it all over the shop. Mum didn't stop her just said 'If you don't stop we're going home' and eventually dragged the little monster out of the shop leaving her full trolley in the middle of the aisle and the fruit and veg all over the floor. If I'd have had any say the kid would have picked it all up and Mum would have been made to pay for it.

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CatfordBorders


Posts: 25
Joined: Aug 2014
Post: #55
09-01-2015 01:20 PM

Surely this just proves there are rude people in the world, and some of these happen to be parents? Some are more lax and their children misbehave in public, some are more considerate and teach their children manners.

I have come across plenty of rude people in 8 years of living in Forest Hill, they are all around us in among the nice ones! Some are parents, some are not. Just the other week a smart young man roughly pushed my two young children out of the way to get on a bus in a busy queue.

There aren't often threads about rude smart young men though - there seems to be particular ire set aside for mothers (people don't seem to get so hot under the collar about fathers being out and about in public and sometimes having misbehaving children).

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Yasmine


Posts: 17
Joined: Jun 2010
Post: #56
09-01-2015 02:01 PM

We have a chance to influence, if not teach, good behaviour to toddlers and children. We have a duty to be responsible parents. That' s why it is a little sad to see that those of us fortunate enough to have had a good education and freedom to make choices and enjoy life through financial stability, are found be careless about their own children respect to others. A rude adult was once a child. A sociocultural anthropologist may be able to explain why this change is taking place, yet I feel it is a great loss of what many obviously consider a personal ( and a collective) assett.

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Jane2


Posts: 221
Joined: Jan 2007
Post: #57
09-01-2015 06:24 PM

SE23.com does seem to be particularly critical of mothers. I have seen few threads that generate such ire as those where mothers and children are concerned.

Like CatfordBorders I have come across plenty of rude people and nice people in Forest Hill. I don't think there is a particular generation of lax parents / badly behaved children - it is just perceptions.

Talking of rudeness - people who talk on their mobile phones whilst being served in shops! That is so rude and I've come across plenty of those around here, it is impolite to the shop assistant, and holds everyone else up! There was a particular lady in Sainsburys who insisted on chatting on her phone whilst packing her shopping very slowly, causing a long delay. I was in the queue with my toddler who was getting more and more fractious the longer we waited, and no doubt someone behind me in the queue was tutting about why anyone would bring a child shopping anyway and why I didn't have a magic formula to keep her quiet....

The British do have a particular knack for the tut tut and disapproving look. On an airplane journey my husband and two children were unfortunately seated just behind such a couple and their teenage daughter. It was a midday flight, Easyjet, from Malaga, school holidays, so plenty of families on board. My children weren't being badly behaved, we had brought lots of magazines to occupy them, but they were chatting a lot, as children do. The family in front seemed to think it was a good time and place for a nap and kept giving my husband those 'looks' - the teenager in particular had her eye mask on and was sighing a lot. To me, that was rude behaviour. I was much more fortunate to be seated with my baby next to a young American man who couldn't have been kinder, asked if I needed anything, chatted to me like a normal person, and had a very pleasant journey.

Or the recent train journey where I was travelling with 3 children and had specifically booked seats so that I could sit with the children (they are too young to be sat on their own), but the older gentleman who had sat in our reserved seats and could see me struggling with kids and bags refused even to catch my eye when I said they were our seats and stared deliberately ahead. That was rude. But there was a lovely younger couple who moved out of their seats so that I could sit with the children. That was really nice.

People are nice, people are rude. C'est la vie. I don't think it's helpful to demonise a particular group of society.

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Decker


Posts: 116
Joined: Nov 2014
Post: #58
09-01-2015 07:09 PM

Guys I think Jenros is just trolling this thread. Lol

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ringingcod


Posts: 84
Joined: Jun 2005
Post: #59
09-01-2015 08:21 PM

I think a few of the posters on this thread need to run around shouting "poo poo poo" and let off a bit of steam.

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Bcm


Posts: 187
Joined: May 2010
Post: #60
09-01-2015 08:44 PM

Quote:
People are nice, people are rude. C'est la vie. I don't think it's helpful to demonise a particular group of society.


This. And that's exactly what I took exception to in the OP's posts.

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