I always give my son a pint of vodka and a tab to smoke, before giving him the beating of his life before and fly tipping rubbish on the pavement to teach him some good old fashioned bad manners. It puts hair on his chest and will make more of a man.

It's despicable that woman are in a pub in the first place, especially enjoying a moment with their children in a social smoke free environment. Don't they have work to do at home? And music in a public place? The only music in a pub should be from a juke box or the sounds of people shouting at the sports on tv. Blimey, none of these kids will know the pain of a bringing up, they have it too easy these days. No wonder Honor Man is eating his own sick.

My advice is go to the Paxton in Crystal Palace HM, you never get kids or mums in there (especially at the weekend). It's a proper pub for proper people. No food, no kids, and Johnny machines in the bogs to stop them in the first place.