| Author |
Message |
Brian K.
Joined N/A
| | Posted on Monday, 24 March, 2003 - 01:36 am: | |
Echoing all the calls for laid back bars in the area - there is nowhere for gay or lesbian people to go other than Lewisham, Brixton or Croydon - or the West End. There is a significant market being lost to the area through lack of local amenities.
A cool bar without barriers would be nice. |
Kevin
Joined N/A
| | Posted on Thursday, 27 March, 2003 - 02:22 pm: | |
Why do gays and lesbians have to have their own bar?
I am happy to share my bars / pubs / drinking space with people who are lesbian, gay, transgender.
Why be seperatist? |
BrianK
Joined N/A
| | Posted on Friday, 28 March, 2003 - 01:33 am: | |
I don't want to be separatist - "gay-friendly" would do nicely but I am aware that there is nowhere in Forest Hill where you could go, as a gay person, and be yourself - and I have a big network of supportive friends. Even in a favourite pub in its halcyon heyday you had to be discrete and I'm not talking about getting off with someone here - I'm just talking about being able to be yourself in a public space. There is and has been for many years a large potential gay clientele in the area but there really is nowhere for us to go! |
Mr Monkey
Joined N/A
| | Posted on Friday, 28 March, 2003 - 05:57 pm: | |
Well I wouldn't feel put upon being gay, there's nowhere for us straight people to go either! See comments elsewhere; everyone seems to agree. |
Bruna
Joined N/A
| | Posted on Monday, 31 March, 2003 - 04:57 pm: | |
Kevin, why do gay have this obsession for having their own pub or bar? I am sorry but I do not think here in London you have problems being yourself anywhere, Forest Hill included.
Ciao, ciao |
Rebecca
Joined N/A
| | Posted on Friday, 04 April, 2003 - 02:26 am: | |
Bruna,
why do you think gay people are LIKELY to be 'obsessed' with not getting harassed, threatened, stared at, beaten up or followed into the ladies' loos by suspicious landladies? (At least I hope she was just suspicious...) I've been with queer/trans friends and partners in enough straight pubs in London to know what I'm talking about.
Yes, yes yes let's have a nice gay friendly pub or bar/cafe. |
Bruna
Joined N/A
| | Posted on Friday, 04 April, 2003 - 10:20 am: | |
Rebecca,
We have a saying in Italy that goes 'The mother of idiots is always pregnant'. Those who harass, threaten, beat up gays do the same with black people or any other people who are different from them. I would just call them troglodits or idiots. They have a problem not gays.
Sorry, still of the idea of a mixed bar |
Hils R
Joined N/A
| | Posted on Saturday, 05 April, 2003 - 10:28 pm: | |
Fair play to you Brian K, as a gay person myself there is a huge requirement for a gay/lesbian bar. Unless you are gay/lesbian you do not know how supressed life can be without a place where you can just be yourself rather than pretending to be someone you are not. In Forest Hill as in many other places it is OK to be gay as long as you do not act gay, we never ask straight people to not kiss their partner in public or not hold their partners hand or be intimate. I could imagine that if this happened in one of the pubs in town their might be an uproar and unfortunately I am unwilling to test the water! |
Shauna
Joined N/A
| | Posted on Thursday, 17 April, 2003 - 06:31 pm: | |
While I feel sorry for gays not having a gay bar in Forest Hill I have to speak out for the people with children who live in the area and 'lets face it' make up the majority. We don't have a decent child friendly pub that we can visit on a Sunday afternoon for a decent pub lunch whilst our kids play in a family area. |
Peter
Joined N/A
| | Posted on Thursday, 17 April, 2003 - 08:35 pm: | |
Shauna
Since when did appealing to the majority make for an interesting or desirable place to live? And if that were the case, why is it that minorities often 'gentrify' an area, whereupon the discerning majority moves in? I'm all in favour of gay bars, minority / ethnic shops, and anything else to add local colour and flavour, and bring a little diversity.
My overriding concern reading this is who amongst us has the vision / desire to do something about it? I for one promise to spend money at a Gay / Lesbian bar in Forest Hill, if someone will start it up... unfortunately I'm up to my neck in my own venture at present to take this one on myself. One of you MUST be able to, though, with a little guts and a nudge?? |
dulwichlad
Joined N/A
| | Posted on Thursday, 09 October, 2003 - 07:17 pm: | |
I for one am in support of a gay/mixed bar...being HIV+ and totally isolated here....its too far to go to town...it would be a community asset, not a put upon place.
and, yes, quite a few gay bars are children friendly.....if you want to go to a bar for a drink/meal, its nice to know you wont be surrounded by violence, swearing and loutish behaviour.In 16 years 'on the scene',Ive yet to see a fight in a gay venue.
And gay men/lesbians have children too!!!
it would be nice to be able to go somewhere where I wont be singled out for my haircut, dress sense, or piercings....oh and the pills I have to take too.
I have been humiliated, threatened and verbally/physically abused enough to know what I am on about...and finally, can all of you who have posted above really class yourselfs as 'gay friendly'?
Some of the comments smack of homophobia to me.
well....this will put the pink flag on the agenda and rustle a few feathers!!! |
David
Joined N/A
| | Posted on Friday, 10 October, 2003 - 10:44 am: | |
I think a gay/mixed bar would be a fantastic idea.
.....a child firendly oe on the other hand is my idea of hell! |
Carmen
Joined N/A
| | Posted on Thursday, 12 February, 2004 - 12:53 pm: | |
as yet another gay women in the area, i think we only need bars that welcome every one, i have never had a problem kissing my partner, i think we are becoming obsessed with segregation.As a Gay Women, i just want the freedom to live my life as i chose, feel safe in my street, and be excepted for who i am, not what i am.Gay Bars also segregate. many are ages, Will not allow women, Have strict dress codes, a door policy to stop people who do not fit their profile from coming in.The list goes on, if gay people want to only mix with Gays, they can go to the west end. I am proud to go to a bar and meet people, there will always be begots, but i have yet to meet any in Forest Fill |
Ray
Joined N/A
| | Posted on Thursday, 26 February, 2004 - 12:33 pm: | |
Forest hill is a place we should all enjoy, as a local Gay Man i do not want to see the area packed with gay bars, many of which disciminate against women, older gay people etc, as a gay man i want to beable to feel safe were i live, a new bar yes, a gay bar no, we can get the experience in Soho, and pay for it through the teeth in high charges.As a country we need to do more to bring everyone together, and not segregate in any shape or form. |
steve
Joined N/A
| | Posted on Wednesday, 10 March, 2004 - 03:22 pm: | |
in the absence of an actual gay bar, whats to stop a group of gay men and women choosing a pub, and a night, and making it their own...as soon as a landlord/lady sees a crowd of well behaved, well dressed individuals all to happy to spend their money and not fight on a regular basis i beleive the gay contingent will be welcomed with open arms! its small steps but what it does is set a precedent...how about it? who's up for a drink??? and please lets avoid any pub that has a t.v screen...!
x |
steve
Joined N/A
| | Posted on Tuesday, 16 March, 2004 - 02:40 pm: | |
Forest hill is a big place and a regular meeting place on the doorstep would be a welcome addition i think...so does anyone else want to get off their backsides and help establish somewhere?... |
jim
Joined N/A
| | Posted on Friday, 19 March, 2004 - 09:57 am: | |
some interest was generated here, but wheres it all gone now? have people just given up on the idea of a visible gay community within forest hill? |
BrianK
Joined N/A
| | Posted on Friday, 04 June, 2004 - 02:42 am: | |
Having started this thread, apologies for fading big time.
There have been some posts here from all sides which missed my point. I'm not calling for an exclusively gay bar. How boring would that be? I just want somewhere I can go and, should I have a boyfriend with me, not feel worried to show some affection.
One restaurant does score points on that front but it's not cheap and my experience of the food has been mixed.
One pub is great. Nice food, excellent staff but they need to rid themselves of the dregs from the bad-old-days customer-wise. I was in there the other day with a lesbian friend and whilst we didn't feel threatened the banter from the old-school local boys and their buddies was oppressive and it was clear the staff felt the same way too. It deserves to do well and my friends and I will use it as our place of choice but they need to get a doorman.
Finally, Ray, I never proposed a gay bar - I asked for a mixed, diverse, non-judgemental environment. And Shauna - I think family-friendly is cool too. Kids are welcome until about 7 or 8pm, after that it's for the grown-ups. One thing I disliked about one old pub was that parents would drag young kids in there and keep them there until closing when the kids clearly wanted to be home. That's not good parenting abd pubs shouldn't encourage it. |
Cathy
Joined N/A
| | Posted on Friday, 04 June, 2004 - 11:00 pm: | |
Brian, I know that one bar in Honor Oak is now organising gay/mixed nights. A friend of mine went along recently and said it would've been ok if the music wasn't so loud. I suppose it's a start and at least you wouldn't have to worry about any aggression or unpleasantness from some of the local boys you mentioned. |
BrianK
Joined N/A
| | Posted on Saturday, 05 June, 2004 - 03:09 am: | |
Cathy - thanks for the pointer. |
cathy
Joined N/A
| | Posted on Saturday, 05 June, 2004 - 01:25 pm: | |
A mate of mine was doing some PR for the bar owner to spread the word in the gay press. I think they've had some success already. Like I say, the atmosphere was said to be ok, but the music was drowning out conversation a bit. |
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